Enough

Rejection. Kind words graced the page. Encouragement and valuable feedback offered. Even the warmth of Christ spirited the exchange. Nevertheless, it was rejection just the same.

     Moments earlier, I opened an email with heart pounding. Fingers trembled. Hope flared. Then, like a balloon released of air, I deflated. I had just received a rejection letter.

     Though Discouraged but not disheartened, it gave me pause. What are you doing? Echoed the question. Why are you doing this?

     Answers argued through my mind. Not the pep-talk ones but the prosecuting kind which poke holes and create misgivings. From the paper-shortage to the more expensive nature of publishing children’s books to my lack of platform and weariness of rejection, all logic pointed in one direction…Throw in the towel.

    What does it matter? I wondered. What difference does it make? Doubts assailed. Purpose re-examined. And abandonment of ship contemplated. I even started calculating the hours I would save each day if I stopped writing.

     But a still, small voice firmed the void. It is a humble privilege to be a mouthpiece, whispered the Holy Spirit to me. Though quiet, the unexpected answer screeched me to a halt. All vestiges of self fled. Only a humbled, contrite heart remained. For it is not about us. It is not about paper shortages, lack of inroads, or platform. It is not even about our persuasive words of wisdom. But it is about God’s spirit ant power. It is about our willingness and obedience to be used by God in spite of our weakness, fear, and trembling. It is surrendering self and putting on Christ. It is not about what we bring but rather what we are willing to lay down.

     And as I sat with these truths ringing in my ears, I bowed my head in humble submission. It is enough, I whispered. It is enough. And in this moment, fresh purpose arose. Just to have this humble privilege of serving as one of God’s many instruments, is enough for me. It is enough for me to keep writing.
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     Each one of us possesses a unique sphere of influence. Whether this is our families, neighborhood, or workplace, God can use us to impact lives for His Kingdom. All we need to be is willing and obedient. For it is not our job to persuade. Rather, we leave this to the spirit and power of God. All we need to be is faithful.