James Chapter 1

“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” James 1:19-20, NASV

Prayer Over Our Children

Bless my daughter with all joy when she undergoes trials. I pray that You will use this testing to foster within her a complete and mature persevering faith. When she asks for wisdom, I pray that You will grant it to her in abundance. Oh God, mold within her a humble, servant’s heart and a deep love for You. Help her stand firm during trials, so that she may receive Your blessings and promised crown of life while You protect her against temptation, evil desire, and sin. ...

Oh Lord, I pray You will bless her with Your good and perfect gifts from above as You help her be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Plant Your Word in her heart, oh God, and let it produce a good harvest. Cause her to delve deeply into Your perfect law so that You may seal it upon her heart while You keep her faith pure and faultless. Oh Lord, let her live out her faith with truth and sincerity, caring for the less fortunate and being the hands and feet of Christ. I ask You, oh God, to protect her and be her help in times of distress. 

Has failure ever held you captive, stomping the life, joy, and peace out of you? This morning, my sense of failure stifled my breath and held me prisoner. I absolutely crumbled in a mental, emotional, and spiritual heap as I beat myself up for failing in my job of motherhood. Gloom, doom, and self-abasement accompanied my mood and attitude as I readied Sweet One to leave the house. My usually sunny disposition brewed now dark and glum with all semblances of joy stamped out like rain clouds blotting out the sun. 
     
Hunched over, balancing on one foot as I frantically searched for matching shoes, I called for my daughter to verify her readiness to leave. I could do nothing to squelch the rising accusations and internal dialogue which waged war within my mind: You are the worst Mommy ever, taunted the snickering whisper, You’re a failure, a total failure! There I stood filled with Mommy shame and feeling like a complete loser parent, when my little girl ran up beaming and overflowing with smiles. 
   
“Are you okay, Mommy?” she chirped, noting my gloomy disposition. “Was it me?” she asked, wondering if she might have been the cause to my dark mood.
     
“No, Sweet Pea,” I quickly reassured. “It’s just me – it’s just something Mommy is dealing with.” My hands located the missing foot wear and I quickly slid it on. 
     
“It’s just Mommy, not you,” I repeated for emphasis. Sweet girl’s face brightened. She beamed with excitement and ran over to my side.
     
“I have a pink bow for you,” she exclaimed, thrusting a small hair clip in my face. “It’s sparkly! Here, let me put it in.” She carefully slid the small, pink sparkly bow in my hair, right above my ear. “There!” she exclaimed with triumph. “Mommy, you look beautiful,” she said brightly, admiring her handiwork, “but you are beautiful anyway!” She sped off with a bounce and a hop leaving me speechless. Her joy radiated, undampened and bright as the sun, touching the edge of the dark sphere which hovered over me.

I stood stunned, my heart touched by the sincere childish innocence of my daughter’s sweet words, but unsure how to make me realign my spiritual miry clay to coexist with the sunshine that knocked at the door of my heart. 
     
Five minutes later, Sweet One and I tumbled out of the door in a hurry. My husband scrambled frantically still in the house, gathering last minute items needed for the day. Still monotone with heaviness, I opened the car door and motioned for Sweet Pea to crawl in.
     
“Let’s go,” my words came flat yet sharp, “we’ve got to hurry.” Surprisingly, Sweet Pea obliged quickly and hopped in. Her cute, little girl legs deposited herself with a thump in the car seat while her thin arms slid beneath the straps. 
     
“I love you, Mommy!” she said, smiling, her eyes sparkling and warm. “I like your sparkly bow!” She patted the pink ribbon in my hair and grinned happily at me.

The knocking on my heart that I felt just minutes before reappeared, but this time with sweet bells ringing in welcome song. Little bubbles of flickering emotion began to well up from unknown depths and float up to the surface. Sweet Pea and I stood eyeball to eyeball, she in her car seat and I on my own two feet. The dark cloud which sheathed me in heavy, dark folds, wavered. And as the delicate bubbles threatened to pop, I realized in a split second that I was faced with a choice. I could either stomp out the bubbles, refusing to let them rise to the surface, or I could let go of the darkness and surrender to the sweet offering of joy. To either welcome the gift freely given by the giver or push away from the light and cling to the ugly and broken. To lay down my burden or wear it like a suffocating shield. 
     
Snap! The last of the buckles in her 5-point harness now clicked together, ensuring her safety. But as the little face with eager eyes smiled brightly at me, I pressed my cheek against her soft, round one, surrendering to the sweetest of offerings and most beautiful of gifts. 
     
“I love you,” I whispered into my little girl’s ear. “Thank you for your precious gift.”

Sweet Pea beamed, thinking I referred to the pink bow that caught the light of sun which haphazardly hung in my hair. But, as I bent to kiss her soft cheek, the gift which warmed my heart and filled me to overflowing was the most cherished of gifts of all … Joy. 
     
​Many of us are in constant pursuit of joy, looking for ways we can fill our bucket and overcome the hardships and sufferings which loom ominously. ”Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness,” the Bible promises, “and all these things will be offered unto you.” So, it is with a heart of obedience that we seek to receive joy from our Heavenly Father. Yet, even in our strivings to seek, I believe a ‘surrendering to’ and a ‘surrendering down’ must first occur. 
     
By ‘surrendering down’, I mean a conscious laying down of our burdens with a willingness to let go of what bares us low. Then, when the ‘surrendering to’ occurs, which is the willingness to receive the gift of the giver, and is combined with the ‘surrendering down,’ it creates a beautiful acquiescence to the light of God’s fullness in joy and of what is to come. 
     
Just like Christ freely offered His love through death on a cross as payment for our sins, we must also surrender our lives to Him to receive the gift of eternal life with Him in heaven. So too, must we also surrender both in the laying down and in the receiving for us to begin to step in the fullness of joy. For if we are not willing to let go of what drags us to the bottom in the act of our seeking, the joy that we do find will be bogged down by the dark recesses of our mind. We need to e willing to bring to light what was once in the dark. 
     
​So dear fellow parents and friends, do not just seek joy, but surrender to it through the very laying down of what holds you captive. Let go what is bogging you down from the light and be willing to reach for the lifeline of Hope that our Savior so freely offers. When our lungs are so constricted that we cannot breathe, let Our ever-present source of Help, be the oxygen in our lungs. Today, be set free and find joy in the act of surrender. 

A Parent's Prayer

Oh Lord, help me to lay down before You what is bearing me low. Shine Your light amidst the darkness for it is more than I can bare.  Pull me out of the miry clay, oh God, and help me to stand when I cannot. Oh, that You might replace my spirit of despair into one of praise. Help me, oh God, for I am Yours.

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