James Chapter 3

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17

Prayer Over Our Children

Oh Lord, tame my child’s tongue so that she may use it to praise Your Name and speak of Your wonderful ways. Please guard her heart with humility and bless her with every good work. How I plead that purity, peace, love, consideration, and submission will form her wisdom and guide her understanding. May You fill her with good fruit and sincerity of all wisdom. Oh Lord, may You make her a sower of peace and grant her a harvest of righteousness. ... 

 An emotionally wearying week it has been. Amid the baring of hearts bowed low and the agonized pleas for heaven sent help, Sweet Pea has been undergoing a new season of development. More capable, more self-sufficient, more freedoms and responsibilities are her recent claim to fame. Along with pride in her new accomplishments, a new false perception of self and ego has also formed in Sweet Pea’s little girl mind. She believes she is a mini adult, just like Mommy and Daddy.

I didn’t mean for it to happen, but before I realized my own role in the matter, Sweet Pea started barking orders, telling us what to do, placing her own wants before obedience, and believing she had a say in the when, where, and how of obedience. That gentle and sweet spirit which I have so loved, seemed to disappear beneath a mask of boasting, pride, and bossiness. The right of way, all the way, and with a happy heart turned into a “when I want to," half-hearted maybe or maybe not accompanied with grumblings and complainings. 

One night after an incident, the light bulb finally turned on in both my husband and my heads as we realized how lax and lazy, we had recently become in enforcing and consistency with correction and discipline. We had let ourselves be lulled into a false sense of security, thinking our little girl’s brand of sweetness covered a multitude of sins. That’s when we swung into action, belated and behind the eight ball, but arriving before the train docked in the station. A family conference, a meeting of the minds and the laying down of old rules along with the new. Expectations and clear consequences were spelled out and firmly established. Smiles and hugs followed along with promises, recommitments and starting overs. Now, came the hard part, the following through. The accountability of boundaries that are destined to be pushed, prodded, and tested.
     
It came this afternoon when I was digging the last of the peanut butter out of the sticky jar depths. 
     
“Mommy, mommy!” Sweet pea’s frightened wail pierced the air. “Mama!”

The jar came down with a clatter as I rushed to the living room where Sweet Pea had been watching a DVD. 
     
“Mommy, I fell!” cried my little girl with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I stood on the arm of the loveseat and fell down,” she rushed to confess, her voice rising higher with each word. “Mommy, I hurt myself!” she wailed at the heights of her crescendo, clutching onto my legs with a death grip. Miniature plastic pieces were scattered everywhere on the hard wood as evidence of her unsuccessful trapeze and wire act. Her eyes were big and wide. 
     
“Mommy,” she repeated, wrapping her little-girl arms, this time around my neck as I squatted before her, “I hurt myself!”

As I hugged her close, ensured no major boo-boos had occurred, and soothed my frightened little girl, the fullness of her words penetrated my mother’s brain. 
     
“Sweet Pea,” I said as my eyes sought hers, “I am so thankful you were not hurt, and that God protected you. But did I hear you say you were standing on the arm of the loveseat?”

Sweet Pea’s sniffling’s now increased to a 3-volume wail. “Yes!” she cried, hiding her face in my shirt. “I was standing on the arm of the loveseat, will you forgive me?” she sobbed in a fresh bout of tears. 
     
Just ten minutes prior, she had been bouncing gleefully on the loveseat cushions until I asked her to stop, reminding her of our house rules of not walking on furniture. In addition, my husband had issued a sharp order just the day before.  
     
“Don’t stand on the back of the loveseat!” my husband had commanded, “you could fall!”

Sweet Pea looked like a deer caught in headlights. She stood balancing herself on the back of the loveseat with her legs poised and bent as if to jump. “Ooooh!” she dared to say as she slid down the front of the loveseat’s high back.

Only to now discover that Sweet Pea disregarded the rules to do what she wished, but this time fell victim to the natural consequences. Understanding flooded my brain. The little one who stood before me now with pleading eyes was less concerned about hurting herself but instead worried about getting in trouble for deliberately disobeying us.
     
“Will you tell Daddy?” asked Sweet Pea with tears brimming in her eyes.

I gave her a hug. “Yes, I will.” I wiped a few tears from her cheeks, then placed my hands on her small shoulders to look her straight in the eyes. “I am so thankful you were not hurt,” I said. My eyes held hers. “God protected you even though you directly disobeyed me and Daddy." I sobered. "You could have really gotten hurt. This is why we have rules – to protect you and keep you safe.”    

My face softened. “God was gracious and even though it hurt to land on your toys, it could have been a lot worse,” I explained. I kissed her again and got up to get her a tissue.

​I kissed her again and got up to get her a tissue. Tears continued to roll down her little cheeks as she mopped at them with the soft cloth. Her lower lip quivered as she asked the burning question on her little mind.
   
 “Will you discipline me?” Her eyes worried, big and round.“What will be my consequence?”
   
 Crunch! Tiny, plastic pieces found their way under my bare feet while I shifted from one foot to the other. Their hard edges poked and pinched into my tender flesh while Sweet Pea’s skin still bore their creased imprints. The unyielding protrusions caused me to grimace and wince. 

 “I think you have learned your lesson.” My words were slow and thoughtful as I ran a finger over the grooved lines on her skin. “And I think you have already suffered your consequence.”

Her Minnie Mouse sun-powered toy clicked and clackedin the quiet air as she stood still, processing my words. When their meaning finally registered, Sweet Pea buried her face into my shirt and wrapped her thin arms around me. 
   
​ “Mommy, I’m so sorry,” she sniffled with genuine repentance as more tears spilled from her eyes. “Will you please forgive me?”
   
 In the face of grace and mercy, true repentance can follow. For just as Jesus took our place on the cross where death and judgement should have been ours, God’s wrath poured out instead upon His perfect and only Son. This ultimate act of grace and mercy of One who loved us so much that He took our place in the grave that we might have life in abundance, is the model we should hold out to our children as they learn and grow.
   
 As parents, we live out God’s mercy and grace in our daily parenting with our children. How many times have we extended mercy by withholding what they deserve? How many times have we granted grace by blessing them with things that they have not earned? And yet, God’s grace and mercy is greater than anything we can even fathom. We catch only glimpses of the pale reflections of God’s holiness here on this earth. Yet, despite these revelations, we all still fall short of the glory of God for all have sinned. How many times have we disobeyed God like a little child acting out in defiance against their parents? How many times have we insisted on doing things our way rather than yielding to God’s ways? 
   
 Yet, these very guidelines and precepts that we find ourselves acting out against are there for our very own protection and freedom. Like the rules we instruct our children to follow, God’s laws exist to keep us from harm and to help us to live a life of abundance. Through Him comes absolute freedom and joy everlasting if only we surrender to Him who is the One who created us, the One who knows us by Name, and the One who knows our inner most being. This world teaches us to exert our own autonomy and that we know what is best for ourselves. Yet, contradictory to this worldly wisdom, the truth is God knows what is best. He knows how we can begin to live life to the fullest for it is He who created us, formed us, and knit us together.
   
 Like our children, we often do not understand the “why’s” of His ways. But just like our children, we also need to trust in that His ways are better than our own ways, that He knows what is best, and that He is good. Choose for yourself the path to eternal life, everlasting joy, and eternal peace by placing your trust in Our Lord Jesus Christ this day. Surrender to Him and His ways and He will make your path straight. 

A Parent's Prayer

Lord, when I do not understand, help me to trust You. Let me heed Your voice and bend to Your ways. Help me, I plead, to cast off my old self and conform to the new one through Your transforming power. I ask that You, oh God, show me how to model Your grace and mercy to my loved ones while You give me the strength to choose what is right, what is good, and what is wise. Cover me with Your grace this day.